Grandparents never die, they become invisible and they sleep forever deep in our heart. And even today, we miss them and we would give anything to hear their stories, to feel their caresses and look at those eyes full of infinite tenderness.
While grandparents have the joy to see us being born and growing, as a fact of life, we must witness how they age and say goodbye to this world. The death of a grandparent is usually the first farewell that we will have to face in our childhood.
Grandparents, who assume the active role of raising their grandchildren, leave traces in their spirits, legacies that will accompany them for life as seeds of everlasting love during the days when they become invisible.
Nowadays it is very common to see grandparents participating in raising their grandchildren. They represent an invaluable support network in today’s families. Children however sense very well that the role of grandparents is different from that of their parents.
It is common that grandparents and grandchildren develop a very special, a deep and intimate bond, so the loss of the grandparents can be very shocking and delicate in the personality of a child or adolescent. We wish to reflect on this subject with you.
Saying good bye to Grandparents: the first experience dealing with loss
For some of us who have reached adulthood having our grandparents by our side,we have been truly privileged, however others, had to face their death when they were still in the early childhood, when children still don’t understand a loss like this in all the magnitude. Commonly adults are not able to fully explain what happened and try to soften the death as if it “does not hurt”.
Adults should explain things clearly to their children and they should tell them the truth, this is the advice of Psych pedagogues. Of course it’s necessary to know how to adapt the news according their age. One must, however, avoid making the mistake of many parents in preventing a last farewell of the child with his grandfather in the hospital, or beat around the bush with metaphors such as that “the grandfather is in a star or he is sleeping in the sky”.